Sunday, January 3, 2010

My number one resolution this year:

Keep track of what I read. Not for any particular reason, but I'm curious as to how many books I read in a year, and what books exactly. I think it could be fun.

I also thought I might start reviewing books here and there - not only because that sort of skill will be useful in certain areas of journalism, but also because I like to gab on about the books I read to anyone who will listen, and often people who won't. Unfortunately enough, I'm starting off this tradition with a negative review. Quite a negative one. I'm actually a little embarrassed by how negative and stuck up this review sounds. I hardly knew whether to refer to it as a book review or a book rant, in the end. I think its necessary, though. I don't know, I just think this one has to be put in writing.


Mr Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange

I should start off by mentioning that I am a traditionalist when it comes to vampire fiction. I've never been a fan of the Twilight series, although I did plough my way through all of them - I hate being an ill-informed critic. So, as a result, I am always cautious when delving into vampire fiction. I probably wouldn't have ever picked this up if it wasn't for my interest in the current flood of paranormal spinoffs of 19th century novels seemingly sparked by Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith.

The premise, of course, seems to work quite well - it is easy enough to take the stern, foreboding Darcy and make it appear as though his behaviour in Pride and Prejudice was a front for a deep, dark secret. Additionally, Grange has for the most part kept to traditional vampire stereotypes, making use of familiar gothic imagery throughout. The use of historical and geographic references to vampire lore is also in the book's favour. However, the novel's bad aspects outweigh its positives, resulting in a book that was, for me, a complete disappointment.

The title seems fine enough - it even has a certain ring to it. I'd be a fan, if the majority of the plot wasn't devoted to Darcy concealing his vampire nature, and Elizabeth wondering why he is acting so strangely. In fact, the actual vampire 'action' doesn't begin until the last half of the book. Really, they should have put spoiler alerts all over the front cover. As a result, I spent the majority of the book a) impatient for the vampires to show up, already and b) mentally screaming at Elizabeth to use her common sense and stop whining about him not wanting to have sex with you, for Christ's sake.

That was another thing. I completely understand that, at this point in time, the main source of apprehension for a new bride was the wedding night, and the duty to provide her husband with an heir. What I didn't like was the fact that Elizabeth, who in Pride and Prejudice had been such a witty, intelligent, independent* young woman, was reduced to a simpering idiot whose entire self-worth seemed to be attached to the fact that her husband didn't want to engage in any 'night-time visits'. This preoccupation continued throughout the book, with Elizabeth's original characterization only coming to light in the numerous badly-paraphrased quote from the original book which were littered throughout the chapters. I don't know, maybe I was reading Pride and Prejudice all wrong, but it seemed to me that Elizabeth and Darcy promised to be more than the traditional husband-and-wife dynamic of the time - their exchanges during Austen's work seemed to suggest that their marriage would be a meeting of equals, at least in mind, if not in social standing.

Darcy's character, too, was reduced to a selection of paraphrased references to Pride and Prejudice, the odd veiled reference to dark secrets and the occasional glance of restrained longing, but on the whole, his character suffered a lot less than Elizabeth's - although the author's handling of all characterization in the book makes a mockery of Austen's subtlety and wit.

Aside from this, the book was badly written - though of course, nowadays it is ridiculously difficult to find an author who has true power over the English language. I am ever more cautious about reading modern works, simply because the average modern author becomes successful not on the power of his prose, but on his ability to write to his target audience. Additionally, it must be said that the paranormal-Victoriana books are not known for their quality as pieces of literature - they must be taken with a grain of salt, and seen as nothing more than a little harmless fun, a quick laugh for the literature geek. However, the writing quality displayed in Mr Darcy, Vampyre from the very first page made me cringe, and, moreover, made it impossible for me to disappear into the story in the way that I am accustomed. The romantic scenes stank of cliche, while the references to the original novel by Jane Austen were particularly difficult for me to cope with: 'they remembered...' followed by a detailed paraphrasing of a segment of P and P only makes me think of badly written fanfics. Which, after all, is essentially what this is.

Overall, this isn't the paranormal-Victoriana book I'd recommend. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was much more engaging and better written, Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter had a certain whimsical charm, while I Am Scrooge is a good source of both hilarity and gore. For vampires, I'd recommend Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, and, of course, the classic Dracula. However, if you like florid romances, badly-written prose, awkward paraphrasing of classic texts, and two-dimensional characters which deviate entirely from the established characterisation, then all the power to you. Read away.

*I do, of course, mean mentally independent - at this time it was essentially impossible for a woman to be completely independent.

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